📫 Clarity is Kindness

Being clear with your colleagues, or your reports, is kinder than trying to avoid hurting their feelings.

We’ve had a pile of new subscribers (not sure what the collective term for people people is), so welcome to you all! I’d love to know how you heard about us, drop me a reply and let me know! Also, if there’s any topics you want to hear about in this newsletter drop me a line, I’m happy to do some learnin’ on your behalf!

Stay safe,

Mike


Reading time: 3mins

Quit the bullsh*t

Giving someone feedback, especially negative feedback, is hard, right? You want to mind someones feelings, ensure they get the message, but don’t get upset. You want them to still like you after the conversation and you want them feel good and look forward to whatever it is they need to do to get better feedback next time.

So, you might deliver the age-old crap sandwich:

“That work did on the doodah was excellent.”
“Thanks!”
“The work did on the wotsit was terrible though.”
“Oh”
“But the work you did on the widget was great!”

It feels good to give people good feedback, it feels like it might temper the bad feedback and make the person feel less upset, still like you etc.

Except, it’s not very kind.

It’s not about you

The thing is, you think that you give them a crap sandwich, or whatever method of being kind you use is for them. But it’s not.

It’s for you. It’s so you don’t have to feel bad. It’s so you don’t have to be the bearer of bad tidings.

It’s to make you feel better.

Remember though, the feedback is for them, it’s to help them improve, to change a behaviour or to be mindful of a relationship. It’s about helping them to be better and, if you can’t be clear, transparent and open about the feedback in order to help a colleague, then you should get someone else to deliver the feedback instead.

But, it is also about you (just not in that way)

It’s about you in that:

  • You have to show up for a hard conversation.

  • You set an example, as a leader, that is easy to follow.

  • You can have an open heart, open mind conversation.

Those things will help you grow. Clarity is kindness, it’s a win-win conversation.

📪 End #post

Thanks for reading. Any feedback is warmly received, hit me up mike@hashtagpeople.co.uk.

In the meantime, tell your friends about the email and the slack channel: http://hashtagpeople.co.uk/.

You’re receiving this email as you’re a member of the #people slack channel, if you’d rather not receive it, please hit the unsubscribe link at the bottom. Thanks, Mike.