Employee Experience #1: The First 90 Days: Why Onboarding Determines 2-Year Retention
Those crucial first three months aren't just about paperwork and passwords - they're about building relationships that last years. Here's why.
Right, let's talk about something that keeps me up at night. Not the usual suspects like whether I remembered to lock the front door or that embarrassing thing I said at that party after too many Sherries in 2003. No, it's the fact that we're still getting onboarding spectacularly wrong.
That's not onboarding, that's just paperwork with a fancy name.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially after chatting with a friend who recently started a new job. Three months in, he’s already eyeing the door. Not because the work's rubbish or the pay's terrible - quite the opposite - but because he never quite felt like he belonged. Thing is, this isn't unusual.
The data's pretty stark when you look at it. People who have a positive onboarding experience are many times more likely to feel committed to their employer. Those who don't? Well, they're probably updating their LinkedIn profile by month four.
But here's what really gets me goat. We treat onboarding like it's some sort of administrative hurdle to clear. Get them a laptop, show them the fire exits, job done. That's not onboarding, that's just paperwork with a fancy name.
The 90-Day Window Nobody Talks About
The first 90 days aren't just important - they're make or break for a new employee and, by extension, their colleagues. Think about it like dating, actually. You know those early dates where you're trying to work out if this person's a keeper? It's exactly the same with new employees, except the stakes are higher and there's usually less wine involved (well, maybe).
During those first three months, new hires are making dozens of tiny judgements about whether they've made the right choice. Do people actually listen in meetings, or is everyone just waiting for their turn to speak? Does the company culture match what they sold during interviews? Can they see themselves still being here in two years? Are they challenged and have a decent view of the path ahead for them and their growth?
These aren't big, dramatic moments. They're small interactions that add up. The colleague who takes five minutes to explain the coffee machine properly. The manager who remembers their name in week two. The person who invites them to lunch instead of leaving them to eat a sad sandwich alone at their desk.
Beyond the Checkbox Mentality
I started a remote job a while, and honestly, the onboarding was pretty dire. Not because they didn't send me equipment or book me into systems training. They did all that. But after day three, I felt like I was floating in space, completely untethered from anything resembling human connection.
Nobody had thought about what it actually feels like to be new. To not know who to ask when you're stuck. To worry that asking questions makes you look thick. To wonder if that joke you just made in Slack landed completely wrong because you can't see anyone's face (aside: I once made a joke in Slack and it was about three weeks before anyone told me it had landed utterly wrong).
The companies that get this right understand something crucial. Onboarding isn't about information transfer. It's about integration. It's about helping someone go from being an outsider to being part of the gang.
The Relationship-First Framework
So what does good onboarding actually look like? I believe it starts with relationships, not processes.
Week one should be about connections, not computers. Yes, get them set up with the basics, but spend most of your energy introducing them to people. Not just their immediate team, but the person who'll fix their laptop when it inevitably breaks, the office manager who knows where everything is, the colleague who's been there forever and can give them the real lowdown on how things actually work.
Month one is about context. Help them understand not just what they're supposed to do, but why it matters. Show them how their role fits into the bigger picture. Let them shadow different people, even if it's not directly related to their job. The more they understand about the whole business, the more invested they'll feel.
Month two and three? That's when you start giving them proper responsibility. Not busywork or training exercises, but real stuff that actually matters. Let them contribute to projects, ask for their opinions, show them their ideas actually have value (and they should, as your hiring process is rock solid, right?)
The Little Things That Make All the Difference
Here's something I learned from watching good managers over the years. They obsess over the tiny details that nobody else notices.
They remember that starting a new job is knackering, so they don't pack the first week with back-to-back meetings. They introduce new hires to people properly, not just "This is Sarah, she's new" but "This is Sarah, she's joining the marketing team and she's got amazing experience in social media strategy."
They check in regularly, but not in that performative way where they're clearly ticking a box. They actually want to know how things are going. They ask specific questions like "How are you finding the project management software?" instead of the generic "How are you settling in?"
And they protect their new hires from the office politics and negativity that inevitably exists in every workplace. There's time for that reality later, once someone's found their feet and they will find their feet, and face reality. But by the time this happens, they’ll have enough experience of your organisation and its people to form their own opinions, not just parrotting Barry from accounts when he moans about the bonuses.
The Two-Year Test
Here's my benchmark for good onboarding. If someone's still with you after two years and genuinely happy to be there, you probably did something right in those first 90 days. If they've left or they're quietly miserable, it's worth looking back at what happened in the beginning.
Because the truth is, people don't leave jobs - they leave experiences (well, and managers, but in this context, those two things are very intertwined). And that experience starts from day one.
The companies that understand this don't just have better retention rates. They have people who actually want to be there, who recommend the company to their mates, who stick around when things get tough because they feel genuinely connected to the place.
Is your onboarding creating that connection, or is it just getting people through the door? Because there's a world of difference between the two.