#52 Surface acting: bad for you, bad for business
'Surface acting' in meetings leads to emotional exhaustion and may affect meeting outcomes. Instead, practice self-awareness, honesty, active listening, congruent body language, and responsibility.
Have you ever been in any kind of meeting that made you angry, sad, excited, disappointed or frustrated? Sure you have (if not, I want to work with you!) and you’ve also probably tried, on occasion, to mask that emotion. If you’re British, there’s the idea of the stiff-upper-lip and there’s probably similar in other cultures. However, this is bad for your long term emotional balance.
‘Surface Acting’ is a means of managing ones emotions. This technique allows you to pick the right emotion for whatever situation you are currently in. We do it in all kinds of situations; doctors, waiting staff, the police. Any situation where we’re unable to generate any kind of sincere empathy means we resort to acting the correct emotion.
A study highlights that we even do this in meetings. The study claims that 15% of of personnel budget is spent on meetings, yet up to a third of all meetings are a waste. They make links between surface acting and the perceived effectiveness of the meeting. Because an attendee is expending energy on portraying an emotion they might not be feeling, that’s energy that isn’t being spent on the purpose and outcome of the meeting. It requires self-control and limits our ability to attend to what is going on, as part of your attention is turned to acting.
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It’s also exhausting. Those who reported high levels of surface acting, when quizzed three months later, exhibited higher emotional exhaustion, or burnout, scores and an increased intention of quitting altogether!
5 tips to avoid surface acting
Practice Self-Awareness: The first step to being genuine and congruent is understanding your own feelings, thoughts, and values. This requires ongoing self-awareness. Reflect on what is important to you, what you believe in, and what you want to convey in the meeting. This will help you to express your opinions and ideas more honestly and effectively.
Honest Communication: Be honest in your communication, but also be mindful of the manner in which you convey your message. Clear, respectful, and assertive communication can help you to express your thoughts genuinely without causing unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings.
Listen Actively: Genuine interactions involve not just speaking, but also listening. By actively listening to others' ideas and feelings, you demonstrate that you value their perspectives. This not only helps to build trust and rapport, but also enables you to respond more sincerely and appropriately.
Body Language: Non-verbal cues are as important as verbal communication. Your body language should match your words in order to come off as genuine and congruent. For instance, maintaining eye contact while speaking can show your engagement and honesty.
Take Responsibility: Taking responsibility for your actions and words is crucial to authenticity. If you make a mistake, admit it and take steps to rectify it. Similarly, stand by your words and decisions when they are right, even if they are unpopular. This demonstrates integrity, one of the cornerstones of authenticity.
Remember, being genuine doesn't mean divulging every thought or feeling you have. It's about representing yourself honestly within the context of professional and respectful communication.
So, next time, you feel an emotion, let it out. Be truthful with the way you feel about the world around you. Be mindful that you’re not being a pain and ensure you’re meeting the needs of the people around you, but don’t mask emotions. It’s unhealthy and, usually, untruthful.